Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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