how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize