His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize