Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize