i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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