I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize