so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I enjoy the company of your penis
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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