The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize