i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
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if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Success! We fucked roommates!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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