im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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