a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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