I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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