He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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