Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize