So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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