Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize