In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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