I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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