you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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