i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
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Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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