so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize