yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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