Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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