hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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