I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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