Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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