So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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