they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
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I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
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I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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