you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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