Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I AM VODKA MAN
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize