She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize