the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
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What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize