a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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