Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize