i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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