i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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