We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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