I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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