I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize