I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
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You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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