I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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