We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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