Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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