you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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