I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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