Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That's intense
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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