All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
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I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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