I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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