Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize