You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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